Joe and I had been talking about learning how to dance socially for years but never found the time to do it. Early this year, Jake started Tae Kwon Do lessons in Aurora twice a week. I found a little dance school next door and walked in. Peggy the office manager gave me information on class options.

I asked Joe if he really wanted to do it and he said ‘yes’. Since group lessons didn’t fit our schedule, we decided to go for private ones and make them the same time as Jake’s Tae Kwon Do class on Saturday morning.

It turned out that the elegant and petite office manager Peggy was also the instructor. The first dance Peggy taught us was Merengue because according to her Merengue was extremely forgiving. And oh boy did we need forgiveness! Joe and I were like two rusty cars that hadn’t been turned on for over twenty years. We sputtered and hesitated, before finally coughed into ignition.

“How did you like it?” I asked Joe after we collected Jake next door and got into the car.
“It was good.”
“We haven’t danced since I graduated from college. It’s going to take a while to get used to these new moves.”
“You never really danced with me … I hardly ever went to any of the dance parties on your campus.”
Wow, we still have some old baggage from almost a quarter century ago to deal with!
I turned to Joe, smiled brightly and said “I’m all yours now. Let’s learn how to dance with each other.”
“Okay.” Joe flashed his signature smile with his eyes curving into two crescents.

We practiced a couple of times at home before each class and improved gradually. After five months of class, Peggy asked us to perform for the Star of the Night showcase at the studio. We were going to dance Rumba. Joe and I practiced everyday the week leading into the performance.

If anyone tells you that developing common hobbies makes a relationship sweet, don’t believe it for a second. At times, we were about to kill each other. I hated Joe’s unexpected and goofy moves that always threw me off, and he demanded that I just follow. It reminded me why I preferred not to dance with him in college. But we kept working on it, glancing at each other disapprovingly when our steps were out of synch.

When we danced our Rumba for our instructor on Saturday morning before the showcase, the usually composed Peggy burst into tears.
“That was so beautiful! That’s why I love my job …”
I went over to hug her. “You are a great teacher! Remember how we bad we were the first class?”
“Oh, you guys weren’t that bad.” She started laughing with tears in her eyes.

Our first dance was a success. But I was most impressed by Rose’s performances with her instructor Tom. This eighty-year old lady danced so gracefully and flawlessly. Her children, grandchildren and great grandchildren in the audience cheered her on.

We have performed twice after that. Some days I had to drag Joe to practice. Being a perfectionist, I always thought we were still not good enough. I usually got this sick feeling on Saturday afternoon that things weren’t going to come together and we’d just make a fool of ourselves. My right brain that is mainly responsible for the gloom and doom feelings was doing the summersault. By this time, Joe got a little nervous too and so we practiced some more and convinced each other that we’d be fine and after all we were going to have a good time. And both times we came through looking like pros.

For every Star of the Night we invited a few friends to watch us. We were surprised to find out last Saturday that our long-time friend David loved to dance too. He had been taking lessons for about a year and eagerly jumped on the floor for every open dance. I danced with him a few times throughout the night and got to know the playful side of David.

Encouraged by our success as life partners and dance partners, Joe and I have decided to take on yet another huge challenge: we are going to co-author the next book. With his exceptional analytical insight supported by the knowledge of how and where to gather data, and my gift to explain things in a simple and personal way, we believe the book will be phenomenal. The process won’t be smooth: we are two very different people who think and processes information differently. If Joe can be demanding with something he isn’t so good at (like dance), imagine how much worse it could get when he believes he is the expert on the subject of the matter. But like dealing with any other challenges in life, we will get through it with open-mindedness, curiosity, respect and love for each other. Throughout the process, we’ll be able to bring our intellectual intimacy to a whole new level.